I have a confession. I weigh myself daily. And sometimes (often), I let the number get in my head. And that number makes me think irrationally. And when I think irrationally, I start to view myself in a distorted way. And when I start to view myself in a distorted way, I start to pick apart myself. And when I pick apart myself, I forget about loving myself. And when I forget about loving myself, I get all caught up in lies in my head, thus starting a cycle of self-deprecation.
I know. It sounds so harsh when I write it. But it’s the truth. I’ve taught women for years to stay away from the scale. To stop worrying about a number. To stop letting the scale control how you feel and who you are.
And then…I feel like a fraud. Because I’ve been doing the same lately. It didn’t happen overnight. I didn’t used to weigh myself. But then I did one day. Then the next, and the next and over time, this habitual practice turned into my morning dread.
I was ok for a long time with the number. Even when it was higher than it had been in a while. I was still fine with it…until one day it said a number I hadn’t seen in…well…ever. And I suddenly started looking at myself differently.