This week has been a really cathartic week of blogging. As I’m learning and growing and processing who I am and the direction I’m moving, I’m finally okay with letting a lot of things go! It feels really good to speak my truth!
In the past, I’d be good for a while until someone came along on my similar path whom I “felt” seemed to have it all together. I’d wilt in a pile of doubt, fear, and disbelief in my myself. I’d retell that story that I, for some reason wasn’t good enough or didn’t deserve it or some other nonsense I made up in my head.
Comparison is a rough game to play. One that I’ll never win.
I found myself placing judgements on myself that were not necessary. I wanted to please everyone and if I didn’t, I failed.
Going on personal growth journey is hard work! Most are probably unwilling to face our darkest fears and battles. But the work is so worth it to have a week like I’m having.
The breakthroughs are what keep you going. Change is occurring.
My coach told me that I am allowing fear to rob myself of so much joy. Fear is stealing my peace and paralyzing me from living out my true potential. I have the choice to allow it or recognize it and not accept it.
AHHHHHHH. That was golden. I don’t have to listen to fear. I can physically shoo it away. Squash it. Ignore it, Move away from it and then RELEASE IT ALL. And when it comes back, I can squash it’s ugly face because I recognize it now. It won’t feel necessary to come around any longer.
I cried so much that day. I had so much from relief in knowing that I don’t have to know the answers. I can’t please everyone. I only have to show up and be my best every single day.
Let it go. Let it all go.
That night I had a massive headache and I got very congested. I ended up losing my voice. I rarely get sick but I believe that my body was physically releasing all the toxins I’d been holding from fear and doubt.
I may not know exactly the direction I’m going but here’s what I do know:
I am a light for others.
I am worthy.
I am enough.
I am strong.
I am compassionate.
I have a story to share.
I am on a journey to personal growth.
Let the adventure begin.